Crown of Holes of Poland

Under this imaginative title is a brand new project. The idea has been on my mind for some time, as I was thinking of writing something humorous about diving under the ceiling.

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This is usually a subject that evokes quite a lot of emotion, the accounts that appear tend to be full of drama, written in a solemn style. No wonder, cave diving is only for eagles, fearless explorers, steadfast explorers and the seven great ones, who are not afraid of death lurking at every corner. Where is there room for jokes? I decided to take a risk and, under the name Korona Dziur Polski (The Crown of Polish Holes), write about this serious cave diving in a completely frivolous manner. I invite you to read!

Why cave diving?

Why would anyone (and I am not even saying anyone in their right mind, because we have already established that diving has nothing to do with reason) go into a dark, narrow hole where it is only a matter of time before visibility is lost, it is cold, you can’t see anything and you can get stuck like Winnie the Pooh after a better Christmas meal? To answer, let me paraphrase a rather well-known joke. Because you can.

Not everyone, however, has the qualities of body and mind to explore caves where other people’s handrails end and not everyone is lucky enough to be able to see the world’s most famous underground systems, which simply amaze with their unearthly beauty.

But a dangerous addiction, which diving under the ceiling can become, has its rights and something has to be done. Admittedly, we are not famous for beautiful caves with crystal-clear water, to which divers from all over the world would make a pilgrimage.

This does not mean, however, that there is no cosy hole in which cave divers can take refuge in moments of greater weakness, escaping from the tax, the cruel world or just plain boredom. We also don’t have to go to undignified lengths, such as flooding our neighbour’s cellar, to create an underwater refuge for ourselves in times of trouble.

So when virgin explorations in the farthest corners of the world are temporarily out of the question, and the merciless and boring reality strictly connected with the balance of your bank account prevents you from going to Mexican cenotes, what are we, poor beetles, left with? Holes. And not just any holes, because they are our own, national holes!

Contrary to appearances, we are not only condemned to the inaccessible Tatra caves, to which you have to wade for hours, in snowdrifts up to your neck, chasing away wolves and bears with a stick, then devote even more time to overcome dry parts to reach any siphon, narrow as a gut of a skinny raccoon.

If mountains and wild beasts are not to our liking, we can choose from flooded mines, admiring ceiling beams falling apart before our eyes, basements of abandoned buildings, where whole gangs of gypsies, natives of suspicious provenience and characters known so far only from Z-grade horror movies, forts, in the corridors of which you can often find the remains of the unfortunates who stayed here for eternity. In a word, from nature to the literal dead!

Industrial sites also have the advantage over caves that they are usually much easier to access, sometimes involving the payment of a token fee to a gentleman who in return will title us manager.

Do you shiver with excitement at the sight of a manhole? Or do you still shy away from going to your own cellar for potatoes?

Regardless of this, I invite you to an exciting and completely frivolous journey through the Polish holes. You will virtually visit more or less famous underground diving sites located in our beautiful country. The guide will be created and published in stages, with every new flooded hole, cellar, mine, cave or other sewage well I visit, creating a real Crown of Polish Holes!

I invite you to read about it and I hope you will like this frivolous approach to diving under the ceiling, regardless of whether you see water only in the shower, prefer colourful reefs and open water, dream about caves at night, explore underground systems somewhere on the edge of the world or train others in this unique, diving field!